You and I haven't met yet, and this may seem a bit strange, but I've already started making promises to you.
I've already promised you more love than you or I can even imagine. I've promised you the world on a silver platter and life lessons wrapped in tears and kisses to your knees when you fall and hurt yourself because even though I've also promised to protect you, I'm not always going to be right there.
I've promised you at least one sibling to help you laugh and smile and enjoy family vacations. I've promised to help you settle fights and to always make sure there are enough toys for the both of you because I know sharing is important, but playing together is even more important. I've promised to not tell you that Barbies are only for girls and Nerf guns are only for boys, because let's face it, both are really fun to play with regardless of who you are.
I've promised you help with math homework and cereal in the morning when you wake up after I've struggled to get you out of bed and I've promised to help you get dressed but only until you decide you don't want me to anymore. I've promised to play pranks on you and to jump when you try to scare me, even if I'm not actually scared.
I've promised to give you "the talk" before you take health class in junior high and I've promised to make sure you know what's going on when puberty hits because that stuff is pretty freaking weird. I've promised to laugh when you want me to and maybe even when you don't want me to. I've promised to help you learn to drive even if that sounds terrifying.
I've promised you good night kisses and goodbye hugs and to always come home after work as soon as I can because I want to be there when you get home. I've promised to find you the perfect babysitter who plays with you even when all they want to do is watch movies. I've promised to never leave you alone. I've promised you a space in the bed between me and your dad when you have a nightmare and a family dog to keep you company and a place you can call your home because you'll need a place to build you.
I've promised you a million apologies for fights that haven't happened yet and a million you're welcomes because I'm going to make sure you know how to say please and thank you. I've promised you no and yes and go ask your father because sometimes I won't want to make decisions. I've promised to hug you when you're sick and to wake up in the middle of the night to clean up your throw up even if that might make me throw up.
I've promised you carpooling and gas money and a car to use when you go out on dates or with friends and insurance and I've promised you a stern talking to when you break the rules because while you might think they were no big deal, I made them to protect you. I've promised you ice cream for heart breaks and good movies for nights when you just want to stay in.
I've promised you books and story time and crayons that I will try my best to never let anyone take away from you. I've promised you lessons for anything you might want to learn and some way to make them fit into the budget. I've promised you nagging and nagging and even more nagging and someday you might be grateful I made you clean your room.
I've promised you a college fund so you won't have to worry about the real world until you graduate. I've promised you good food every night even if I can't cook very well yet and better food on Thanksgiving because we'll go see your grandparents and your grandma knows how to make pies like nobody's business. I've promised you aunts and uncles who won't be related to you, but who will love you like they are. I've promised you an uncle who will make you laugh until you pee your pants and who can teach you things I might not want you to learn.
I've promised you good blankets and better pillows and pajamas you won't ever want to change out of. I've promised you Christmas wonder and a Santa Claus so nice and sneaky, you'll want to put out cookies until you're twelve. I've promised you empathy and understanding and patience for those times when you forget I have those things to give you. I've promised you embarrassment and mom stories you'll tell your friends and a childhood full of adventure.
I've promised you a lot of trips to the doctor because I don't want your body to be sick like mine. I've promised you a smile when you complain about your fat thighs or your short height or when you tease me about my height because who knows how you'll look. I've promised to call you beautiful no matter how many pimples you get and even if you come home one night with a belly button piercing. I've promised to cry over your mistakes with you and worry about how you'll turn out.
I've promised you strength and charity so you can be as kind as I wish I was. I've promised you trips to the homeless shelter like my mom promised me so you learn the same things I did. I've promised you laughter and family issues because who doesn't have those and at least one exhausting trip to Disneyland.
I've promised you mistakes, mistakes, mistakes. I've promised you a furrowed brow when you yell at me and I realize I'm wrong. I've promised you stubbornness and a hot head, but I've also promised to teach you when to say sorry. I've promised you lots of pictures so you never forget how to smile like a baby and cry like a baby and when it's okay to do both maybe even at the same time.
I promise I will love you no matter what.
And I promise to make even more promises after I've met you.
Sincerely,
xx
Blue
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