pretending to not believe.

Dear you,

I am optimistically disappointed.

I build up things so high in my mind, but out loud I try to drag myself down to reality. I promise myself things will end up in the worst way possible, when in my heart I want nothing more than the most fantastically impossible outcome.

I hope for too much and pretend I am believing too little.

Sometimes I am so good at convincing others, I convince myself.

Then the optimism creeps right back in and I remember I have far too much belief in everything to ever give up on the best.

I'm still trying to decide if it is better to be pleasantly surprised or unexpectedly disheartened.

Honestly I'm just tired of being on the losing side of my expectations.

Sincerely,

xx

Blue