this isn't about you.

Dear you,

I have big love inside me and I have small love around me; I have fumbling just-started love, I have nervous love, I have love that is spilling out all over the floor and making a giant mess that I never want to clean up.

I have a heart filled with love and bones filled with love and a head full of love and a mouth that wants to be kissed but is far too shy to ask for it. I have hands twitching with desires of love and thighs nervous to touch boys because they are things to be loved.

I have boys to be loved. I have friends covered in love and phone calls bursting with love and I have letters, letters, letters all signed with love. I have scars that bled love and I have eyes that see love and I have ears that swear they can hear love two blocks over.

I have fingernails that are over-loved and habits that should probably have less love and a voice that begs to be loved because it loves to sing out. I have love that won't hit the breaks and I have love too scared to get behind the wheel.

I have love climbing higher than I thought possible and I have love content to only look at the sky from the earth. I have love bothering my stomach with butterflies and I have love biting at my lip to keep quiet. I have love giving quiet smiles and I have love breaking promises.

I have hope love, hope-you're-gonna-be-mine love, glad-you-are-mine love; I have whole love, I have half love, I have searching love. I have missing puzzle pieces love.

I have love wrapped up with pretty bows and I have love shoved under my bed and I have love sitting in my closet covered in dust. I have love crying into sheets and I have love covering my face with my hands to hide red cheeks, I have blushing love, snorting love, laughing-till-you-pee-your-pants love.

I have love that doesn't know how to act. I have love for myself, love trying to find myself, trying-to-believe-I-am-pretty love. I have pretty love.

I have weekend sleepover love and adventure love and love under the blankets in a fort. I have love trying to be noticed and I have love running away from prying eyes. I have giggling love and childhood love and first love and someday I'll have last love that is bigger than the love I have now and I'll have bigger love, understanding love.

I'll have I love you.

Sincerely,
xx
Blue