might as well pretend they never existed.

Dear you,

Butterflies aren't just a stomach thing.

More like a butterfly in my face,

butterfly all under my skin,

butterfly in my throat,

butterfly in my fingertips

because they long to be noticed.

Butterflies are needy bastards.

Butterflies don't know when to not be selfish.

They point out the obvious.

Under my cheeks, bright red butterflies

when his eyes meet mine.

Twitching butterflies in my thighs

when he presses his leg to mine.

Butterflies fluttering at the corner of my lips

when he says something funny.

Butterflies don't know the meaning of unwanted.

Butterfly hope,

butterfly longing,

butterfly fluster,

butterfly curious.

Never butterfly guess-I'm-not-wanted.

Butterflies understand

every fidgeting excitement

but never when they shouldn't express it.

Butterflies don't know

when to sink down deep inside themselves.

Butterflies fly up and down and flutter everywhere

even when he's already told me he doesn't love me.

Butterfly this,

butterfly that.

Butterfly stop.

Because butterflies aren't just a stomach thing.

Butterflies are an anxiety thing,

are a daily thing, are an itching, burning,

please let him notice me

please smile at me

please just want me thing,

butterflies are a soul wanting thing.

Butterfly don't stop

because I get new butterflies every time he smiles,

but he's turning my butterflies into moths

with the way he pretends my butterflies don't exist.

Moths aren't just a stomach thing,

More like a moth in my face,

moth all under my skin,

moth in my throat,

moth in my fingertips

because they demand to be acknowledged.

Moths are uncaring bastards.

Moths don't know when to not be brutal.

They point out every insecurity.

Moths don’t know the meaning of optimistic.

Moth disinterested,

Moth unpromising,

Moth despairing,

Moth helpless,

Never moth he-will-come-back.

Moths understand 

every creeping doubt,

but I'm so sick of my butterflies

turning into humming moths,

because he'll never have butterflies for me.

Butterfly this,

butterfly that.

Butterfly stop
Butterfly please stop

 It's a butterfly me thing,

never a butterfly us thing.

Sincerely,
xx
Blue