trying to explain.

Dear you,

Yesterday we were talking about the future

as if it belongs to us

but remembering forward never worked out for me

and I've never been very good with promises.

I think it has less to do with the fact

that I have commitment issues

and more to do with my trust issues

because like the moon,

I have been called both crater face

and beautiful so many times,

it gets hard to tell which is the truth.

It's not that I can't trust in you,
because you are a beacon in my darkness
and you would wait forever
for me to find you.

It's just I want something
that could outlive my bones
and make my blood want to believe again
but finding something that bright and searing
would be like asking the sun
to drop out of the sky
and belong only to me.

Yesterday you promised me
you'd do almost anything for me,
and I felt the belief stir in my veins,
but also I can't help thinking
that is only one of many beautiful lies
you will end up letting slip through your lips
just to keep the smile on my mouth.

Sincerely,
xx
Blue