sometimes you just know.

Dear you,

It's 2:54am and I just snuck out and you're sitting across from me in a dinky booth in McDonald's. 

Let me tell you, the floor in here is nasty. "Just don't acknowledge it."

The last time we were here my nails weren't chipping and my hair looked a hell of a lot better. You weren't sick, either. "We haven't been here in awhile."

But there's the twenty piece and the large fry to share, like always.
And there's the quirky smile and the, "Shut up" when I say something witty and sarcastic, like always.
And there's the side glances and the blushing and the laughing when I make fun of you for checking out that person again, like always. "Did you see that? You saw that. That was eye contact."
And there's the jittery fingers and the tapping on the table and my slouching, "When did you get so close?" and kicking your feet in our matching converse and then I'm stealing another fry and looking out the window and knowing that even after we leave and say we're going to sleep, neither of us will for at least another three hours.

Like always.

Somehow this has become habit. And I don't know how that really happened or how we became like this, because I feel like we're both just stuck in this sort of limbo where both of us want different things but because we're always with each other we're never going to find them.

Honestly though, I guess it's fine. I've always preferred cuddling over making out and you've only ever kissed two people and that's not how it is between us anyway. "Just hold me."

I'm just afraid I'll end up alone and you're afraid no one is ever going to want you.

But for now we have each other and our friendship that can be summed up with insomnia, shitty chicken nuggets, and a mutual understanding that goes deeper than most people have ever gotten into my soul.

Sincerely,
xx
Blue