we can go through all the motions.

Dear you,

I think you are the cutest thing since puppies and you think I am nothing but your best friend's sister.

Though there were certainly hints tonight that I could be something else. And I apologize, because I am possibly the most surly person you've ever met and I can't be anything else. But I was just glad when you kept laughing at my Cards Against Humanity choices, even if all that proves is that we're both horrible people.

I know this is terribly lame and I know I don't deserve to have something between me and my brother's friend, but I just have to say I have a crush on you so that I don't tell everyone in existence.

And I get that you're 21 and I'm 18 and you're way out of my league but I really just really want you and me to have this thing where we can maybe possibly hold hands if you wanted to.

It's weird and I don't know how to go about it because you are my brother's friend and all of them have always been off-limits in my head, but the thing is you make me want to break my own rule.

You make me want to just maybe kind of kiss you if you'd be okay with that.

And you joked that since we were both alone on Valentine's day we should've done something together so you didn't have to get high and draw by yourself and I didn't have to sit and be lonely by myself, but I really wish that you might have been slightly serious.

I just can't handle the way every time you smile at me or say my name in that way that makes it almost sound like a nickname I get a flurry of mammoth butterflies intent on making me die a little bit inside.


Sincerely,
xx
Blue

8 comments:

  1. This is adorable, and beautiful, and sad and just go for it.

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  2. "or say my name in that way that makes it almost sound like a nickname "

    I love this whole post so much.

    Maybe it's cause I saw a brother's old friend that I haven't seen for 3 years who got attractive and the first thing he said was "you grew up" and looked down to my shoes so.

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  3. I like the vulnerability here. The uncertainty. It tugged a little at my heartstrings.

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  4. I've never related to a post so much.

    ReplyDelete
  5. :O <-- This is me when I read you're writing sometimes.
    :? <-- This is me other times.
    :3 <-- Lets not forget this guy.
    :# <-- He joins the party too.
    :D <-- And Him.
    :'( <-- And always him.
    :) <-- But most of all, let's not forget, this guy :) :) :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. so cute. i can barely get through without giggling. (in the most pleasant of ways)

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  7. "you make me wanna break my own rule" that means you have to go for it. I love this.

    ReplyDelete
  8. "I get a flurry of mammoth butterflies intent on making me die a little bit inside." This is awesome, you're such a great writer.

    ReplyDelete

 

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I'm named after a flower. I have perpetual bedhead. I'm proficient in sophisticated malarkey. I have problems sleeping and swearing. I love plants and books. I want to go to Iceland.

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"I'm still here because this is the rest of my life."
-S.H.

"I'm trying to be poetic because I'm trying to tell you the truth."