mercury is so damn retrograde.

Dear you,

The rain cried so hard on me it made my hair bleed and I wish you could have seen it.

Rivers of red down my back, following my curls and making me stand in a puddle of my own being.  

You would have told me it was beautiful.

You would have laughed at the way the rain flooded my eyes and the way I hid under the awning yet still put my hands out to catch those drops. You would have held my hand and asked me what it was that was making God cry so hard just to hear my answer. You would have thought of the perfect song for that moment, a song that not even I would know and you would have whispered it into my bleeding hair. Your lips would turn red from the blood but you wouldn't mind, you'd probably just tell me, "Merci beaucoup, mon cher" for giving you a piece of me.

But if you had seen it, I never would have made it off the train station platform. Because it's all your fault, don't you see? Me getting lost, me winding up in Le Metro where the machines and the people both don't speak English, me being stuck on the platform. I would have sat there, and you would have too because the only French you know is how to break a woman's heart and I'm afraid only love would understand you.

I never would have made it to Pont d'léna where I never would have locked away my secrets and throw the key into the River Seine. I never would have prayed in any of the cathedrals. I never would have found salsa dancers or art in back streets or any of those dogs at the Louvre. I never would have gotten off that train station platform and you would have never seen my hair bleed.

You never would have told me it was beautiful.

You would have stared at the buildings and marveled at them. Paris is made of bricks and I'm afraid I never was built that solid. You wouldn't even take a second glance at me. You wouldn't believe my hair was bleeding even if you could see it with your own eyes. You wouldn't ask me what it was that made God cry so hard because the fact of the matter is, you forget that I believe in God. You wouldn't whisper song lyrics into my hair and your lips wouldn't turn red and you would never take my hand.

You were the one who let go first, after all. And all I can do is thank you, because if you hadn't, I wouldn't have let the rain cry on me in the first place.

Sincerely,
xx
Blue