she's awful at this board game.

Dear you (and you and you and you and you),

I need to apologize.

But at the same time, no I don't, you do.

Let's just ignore each other's feelings for a second and think about this rationally. Who really needs to apologize here? And I mean, really apologize.

So maybe I need to apologize for not considering your feelings in the very beginning. But you should know me well enough that I'm really bad at saying no when things start. Starts are easy for me. Endings are easy, too. It's the middle that makes me all muddled and messes everyone up.

I'm really bad at middles.

All those inbetweens and lines connecting this dot to that dot, between 4 and 37 where you still don't know quite what it is that you're supposed to be creating, and between the ages of 12 to 18 where you aren't even sure what you are anymore, where first kisses happen and puberty hits like a tornado, and all you can do is wonder how he got so tall and how her butt got so big.

They just leave me a mess and wondering where my dustpan got to, or if I accidentally broke it last week.

But you already knew that. You were there for the middle, after all.

You were there for the times when you asked the right questions and I gave you back the answers you wanted to hear, or maybe just asked you the wrong questions to avoid the right ones. You should know I hate questions, but you'd ask them anyway, probably because you honestly wanted the answers.

But I'm really bad with answers, too.

So I apologize for that. That I'm really good at beginnings and that I'm merciless when it comes to endings. That I'm so bad at those middles that you always wanted. That I could never give you honest answers.

I apologize that I'm a liar, but if we're really thinking about it here, you probably have far more to apologize for.

And you want to know a secret?

Even in truth or dare, I lie sometimes.

Sincerely,
xx
Blue