do goldfish fall in love?

Dear you,

I'm worried about my goldfish.

I'm worried they're going to eat the bubbles their filter keeps making because I haven't changed it since I moved home.

I'm worried I'm never going to have anyone fall in love with me. And I mean fall in love with me.

I'm worried the only love I'm ever going to receive is from animals who only love me in the first place because I feed them.

I'm worried no one is ever going to laugh at my jokes as hard as he did and I'm worried no one is ever going to see me cry like he did.

I'm worried he'll never tell me he likes my hair again.

I'm worried I'll never see her again.

I'm worried that god isn't real because I've forgotten what believing is like and I'm worried that my mother isn't going to care about me anymore if I tell her I'm scared.

I'm worried my dad won't cry at my wedding if I ever get married and I'm scared my brother is going to forget I'm a human again.

I'm worried I'll turn back into a robot now that he's gone.

I'm worried I'll go back to avoiding my kitchen because of the knife drawer and I'm worried I'm weaker than I used to believe.

I'm worried I'll forget to take my medication and I'm worried I don't know what the hell I'm doing with my life.

I'm worried art school really is a mistake and I'm afraid of finding out that everyone who ever told me I was wasting my life is right.

I'm worried I'll prove everyone right about me and I'm more worried about proving everyone wrong.

I'm worried about how Nelson thinks the Phantom is better than Raoul, because I always thought Phantom was abusive and controlling and I never understood why Christine couldn't just be a strong independent woman all on her own and why she even needed a man in the first place.

I'm worried that when he gets back on his mission he won't want to be my friend anymore because two years is a long time.

I'm worried I've changed too much for anyone to love me anymore.

I'm worried my brother is going to relapse and I'm worried I'll someday be worse than he ever was and he'll never understand.

I'm worried no one will ever understand.

I'm worried I'll forget what snow in August is like and I'm worried I'll forget what drowning feels like.

I'm worried my shaking will get worse.

I'm worried I'll never be a mother and I'm terrified of ever actually being a mother.

I'm worried about the children I might become a nanny for and I'm worried that they will turn out like me.

I'm worried for the environment and how people don't believe in global warming because our oceans are turning acidic and do you know what that's doing to our atmosphere and how pH levels work because seriously, our oceans are dying and you all need to stop eating fish because the fishing industry is contributing to the problems and I'm not sure how to go about being a tree hugger when I really love meat.

I'm worried I'll never be as good as my mother and I'm worried I'll never learn how to sew a straight line.

I'm worried how my dad doesn't say, "I love you" enough and I'm afraid of becoming like him when I grow up.

I'm worried I won't be like my dad when I grow up.

I'm worried my heart is going to give out early and I'm worried my body hates me.

I'm worried I don't read enough books and I'm worried I might not finish all 100 books on my reading list for the summer.

I'm worried I'm never going to love myself and I'm worried I'm going to forget what smiling is like when I'm old.

I'm worried I'm not going to get old.

I'm worried this post is too long and I'm worried no one is going to read it because I'm not actually all that good at writing and I'm not actually all that important.

I'm worried no one is ever going to want to publish my book when it's finished.

I'm worried I won't ever finish my book.

I'm worried I'm wasting my youth and I'm worried I won't ever get to kiss someone I'm in love with.

I'm worried everyone will forget me.

I'm worried no one is ever going to know the real ending of the little mermaid and no one is ever going to understand why it's my favorite fairy tale and I'm worried no one is ever going to believe in love the way I do.

I'm worried I'm going to end up like my goldfish.

I'm worried I'm going to forget what falling in love is like.

I'm worried I'm never going to really live.

Sincerely,
xx
Blue